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An appropriate explanation to those who have never lost a loved one: 

"I am sure that many people question why people 
are putting memorial pages to their siblings and loved ones on the world wide web. To some it may even seem unhealthy and inappropriate. It is of course a way to remember our loved ones, And For some  it is a way to say Goobye.  But if you really stop and think for a minute you would realize that The only help a person can find when they are grieving a loss of a loved one, is in the company of another who fully understands that loss. This Grief is a total devastation of us and everything our life has been. It is horrifying enough to lose someone whom you loved so much,   But
Sometimes by sharing our thoughts we are able to give and receive comfort and help.  

If our words help even one person who has lost a  loved one.....it is important, and therefore does deserve a place on the web.  The internet is is the best way to reach out and touch those who are grieving and need a little support and comfort we can offer each other.

This page is dedicated to my brother John, who we lost so suddenly we didn't have time to say goodbye or tell him how much we love him. But then...  you never do, when it happens it happens and they are gone forever.

My brother, John lived  a about 6 hours away from me and I regret so much that we grew apart. which it wasn't any doing on either of our parts, It was just that as we both grew up  the family seemed, to grow apart. we all had our own lives to attend to now, We all had kids of our owns and lived in different states. Had so many different things going on at once, Not at all like when we were kids, Where we were each other lives.

 I wish that I would have called more often or visited him more, I wish I would have tried harder to let him know how much he meant to me,   But you never know what god has in store for you, I think we all are guilty of taking our loved ones for granted. Always thinking they will always be there, but they won't. 

If his death has taught me anything, it is to keep  all of my brothers and sisters  that I have left close to my heart. To work past the disagreements that we may have had in the past  To let each one of them know how much I love them, As well as all the other loved ones  I hold dear in my life, and never let any of them go cause in a blink of an eye they can be gone too. 

 I remember something he told me the last time I spoke with him, it was four years ago, when I got married, I called him to invite him to my wedding and we talked for a few hours and right before we hung up he said to me, You know something sis? And he said...

 Who we were back then.....Is not necessarily who we are today. At the time I didn't realize what he meant by the comment until after he passed, He was telling me to forget the past and enjoy having all of our family together again

John was my oldest brother for 35 years,  Am I suppose to simply just forget that? No, we Can't, we just simply have to accept it and try to go on with our lives. easier said then done,

They say to work passed it and go on, for that's what he would have wanted you to do. I know John wouldn't want us to grieve, but it's so hard not to. I have a big hole right in the middle of my heart that is so raw and empty, I try to fill it with all the memories I have of him, All the fun times we had growing up. But it's just not the same as actually having him here with me.

I thought of John often, before he passed, But now that he is really gone and as it starts to sink in more and more each day... I can't but help wish I could pick up that phone and give my big brother a ring just to say I love you ,or how you doing. I  know that  there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him, or see something that reminds me of him. I see him in the sky, the  trees,  And I can especially see him in the eyes of his only child, also named Jonathan. Everywhere I look I can see him,   

 If you were one of the fortunate ones to have ever meet John, then you know what kind of a person he was. Once he touched your life with his presence he also touched your heart with so much love.

My heart will always ache for him, And as I have sit here this past two weeks trying to get this page up for him, and with each word typed there is a tear that falls. I can't help but feel him here with me, Still trying to look out for me and trying so hard not to hurt me, Like he did so often when we were growing up, I feel his love so strong all around me.

And I know he will always be with us, watching over the ones that are still here, and I look forward to the time when I will see him in heaven, So that I can once again be with my Brother.
I love you Big Brother! And you will always be in my heart.

Please Visit John's memorial page by clicking on the enter button Below, and please sign his Guest Book so that we will know you have been here.